Saturday, August 24, 2013

One pink LiNe & A glass of wHiNe

I'd love to start this post with a, "long story short" type of intro but lets face it, when are my stories ever short?

I'll start at the very beginning... Our little guy Jack was nothing short of a sheer surprise. He was what my Sister so lovingly called a "one per-center." But I prefer "pill baby" instead. Tyler and I were only 6 months into our marriage when we discovered our bun in the oven.

After Jack was born I was put back on the pill immediately. -over share warning- Yup I was one of those lucky ladies who received a visit from Aunt Flow just weeks after giving birth (yippee).
Well like many women my body didn't take to well to the many side effects of the Pill. I was deeply depressed, extremely hormonal and all in all just not myself. So in March of 2012 we decided to ditch the pill in order to get rid of psycho Robyn. I began charting and taking my BBT (basal body temperature) in order to pinpoint ovulation so we could avoid getting pregnant on those certain days. This is known as the FAM plan (Fertility Awareness Method)
*read Taking Charge of Your Fertility if you want more info*
the FAM plan soon turned into the "family plan"... see what I did there? And we began trying for baby #2 in April 2012.

After a VERRRRY long cycle of 100+ days I went to see my doctor. He prescribed me Provera to bring on a period and sent me on my way. A month later I got my period and then endured yet another long cycle of 100+ days. Another round of Provera was given along with a lot of frustration. Where were my periods? My doctor suggested I begin taking Clomid. Now if any of you know what Clomid is, I'm sure you just shuddered (thank you). I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into when I greedily accepted that prescription, and EIGHT others. I did a total of eight rounds of this fertility drug (most doctors will cut you off at 6 for your lifetime) and one HCG trigger shot in my bum. The trigger shot had a 93% success rate to bring on ovulation and it failed to do so. By the end of my Clomid journey I was on a triple dose and hadn't ovulated once. I had seen more negative pregnancy tests than my heart knew what to do with. I was depressed and irritable from all the hormones and heartbroken from the disappointment faced month after month. I became obsessed with ovulation tests, cervical fluid, pregnancy tests, temping, cramping, timed intercourse and counting and counting and counting of calendar days. Each month that one pink line would mock how broken my body was.

So after much stubbornness I gave up on Clomid and we took a break. I didn't "relax" or stop trying, I just stopped medicating my cycles and tried to ease out of the obsessive mindset that had overtaken my life. The pattern of loooooong cycles fell back into motion immediately and on my 2nd unmediated cycle with no end in sight we finally called in the big guns. A Reproductive Endocrinologist. Our first appointment with the RE was 2 weeks ago and 2 hours from our home. I had a full blood workup and a glucose and insulin resistance test. I am now awaiting my results, but the RE is strongly suspecting PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Unfortunately because of tight money and a husband who currently lives in the next State, we will have to hold off on any kind of treatment plan offered until we can afford it.

So in the mean time we wait for answers and pray for patience.

1 comment:

  1. I love the blog, Robyn! Thanks for sharing your story. :) I'm sure it was hard to "come out of the infertility closet" and open up a vulnerable and very real and current part of your life. I hope it feels good to get it out there. We will be praying with you guys for patience, wisdom, guidance and perseverance! Love you!